Welcome to my first blog!
Why did I choose to write about sleep? Because I will happily blame everything wrong on my lack of it. Lack of sleep is the reason I eat that whole chocolate bar, or can’t do my workout, or want a divorce that day. And maybe there’s some method in the madness.
Everywhere we see advice telling us to get 8 hours sleep and everyday I feel like I’ve failed again. Or rather, it reminds me of a life where I could sleep when I wanted. I don’t have a single female friend who sleeps well every night, yet we are told we are going to die young if we don’t sleep. New mothers or menopausal women may not sleep for years, so where does that leave us? Unfortunately the answer is blurred, as scientific research just isn’t done on women. I write this at 6am as my 8 month old is doing 360 turns round my boob. She randomly screamed out for a millisecond in the night, enough to wake me but not need me, and then the intermittent snoring husband kept me in and out of consciousness the remainder of the night. This is my normal and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but it would be nice to have that miracle cure to sleep well every night.
On the nights where the stars have aligned, my hormones are stable (for that one day of the month), I’m sleepy enough for the worries not to fill my head and everyone in the house is peaceful, I get a good 7 hours sleep! I feel like a superstar! I can do a morning workout, eat well, walk the dog, be productive at work, be attentive to my kids and mentally feel all is well. I just make better choices. And that is why sleep for me is key. For everything else lifestyle related to fall into place, we need a good kip.
Yet for all of these variables to be right feels like a one in a millionth chance. It is simply impossible in todays world, with the pressures on women to sleep well, yet we need it to stay well.
So why do we need a good nights rest and how we can make the environment right.
Sleep is a restorative process. During sleep, tissue repair, muscle growth and hormone regulation occurs, including those that control appetite, metabolism and the immune system. A lack of sleep can therefore affect how we think and feel about food, make us crave the wrong foods and feel hungrier. Repeated stress and hits on our immune system leading to inflammation, can also increase the chances of some acute infections and chronic diseases like diabetes, heart disease and obesity. Our cognitive function can also be affected, meaning memory, problem solving, concentration and learning can suffer. Emotionally, sleep helps manage our mental health with reduced anxiety, irritability, depression and other mood disorders.
So ladies, how are we going to get those much needed hours when we don’t even have time to wipe our own arses.
You will have heard of the obvious sleep hygiene techniques, no screens before bed, try relaxation etc etc. but really, sometimes we just need a bit of tv downtime, and there’s no way I’m getting into a bath full of kids toys anxiously staring at the bathroom that needs cleaning.
So here are some sleep tips for the busy woman. Any new change needs to be 'SMART' I.e. specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time bound. Basically, we need to create some realistic habits that fit in with our already busy lives. There’s so much focus on that precious hour before bed, but when we think about hormones and sleep, we need to be considering little tweaks throughout the whole day.
1. Our brains need to know that day is day and night is night. So if you can try to physically get your head in a bit of light throughout the day especially in the morning, it will all help. And yes, even if that means sticking your head out of a window for a few minutes. Make a brew and take it outside for a minute. Spend your last few minutes on your lunch break outside or even better have a quick walk around the block. If there’s a storm outside, just being by the window can help.
2. Exercise can be very beneficial for sleep and although this tip may not apply to everyone, consider avoiding very strenuous exercise in the evenings, such as high impact cardio. A raised cortisol stress hormone can disrupt your melatonin sleep hormone. If you are perimenopausal or menopausal this advice is especially relevant where hormone regulation may be all over the place. Exercise in all forms is great, so if you can only workout in the evening and feel better doing it then go for it. One size does not fit all. However if you are struggling to sleep do consider how much strenuous activity you are doing. A nice walk outdoors is so underrated but has so many benefits to health and sleep.
3. Try to avoid caffeine after midday as it takes around 6 hours just to halve the dose in your body. On this note, sugary foods and alcohol can also impact getting to sleep and the quality of rest. If you are prone to an evening snack and are struggling to sleep, it may be worth considering whether this is keeping you awake.
4. Screens. This is a tough one. There are lots of studies to say blue light can really impact sleep. I personally can’t work on a laptop after 8pm as my sleep is very disturbed. I’d rather be up earlier but others are night owls who can cope fine with this. However, if I have had a bit of outdoor exercise that morning, I find it easy to relax to a nice funny crime drama and sleep like a baby. Once again, tweak your day and you’ll find what works for you. Some swear by blue light blocking glasses which could be another option.
5. Do try to go to bed at roughly the same time each night but be realistic. If you have a tonne of things to do and will only feel better once they’re done, then prioritise.
6. If after trying various ways to relax and wind down, you have tried the measures above and are still struggling, are there some stresses or worries keeping you awake? Are you ready to talk about these with a loved one or health Professional? The NHS 'every mind matters' website has some useful tips. There are various apps available such as ‘worry tree’ to also help, but most importantly please speak to someone. I know health services are pressured but believe it or not, most GPs do care about your mental health.
7. Lastly, I want you take a deep breath and leave the guilt. The pressure to sleep is worse than the insomnia itself. If you have young children, stay hopeful that sleep will come, but sometimes the best solution is to learn to accept that tonights sleep will be broken but it won’t be forever. I am just out of the newborn days and remember the tears at feeling sleep was never going to be possible again. A few months later after some good solid hours, I felt like a new woman! Lean on those around you and do what you need to do to survive. No one will notice your pjs and unwashed hair I promise! Feel free to reach out to me if you need some baby sleep advice.
So I’m hoping you can sense my tone. Everyone is different, and don’t feel guilty because you can’t tick all the boxes. Despite trying absolutely everything, some people will still struggle to sleep and that can be due to a number of issues. Please speak to a medical professional. If you would like individualised lifestyle advice measures to fit in with your current routine, please get in touch.
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